I write this at risk of having my white socks go missing due to the wrath of LADY MORGANA.
My PARTNERING to the demonic evil witch LADY MORGANA was not always SEXLESS. In the beginning, after a rocky start and incidents of BLUE BALLS, the sex was rather torrid and filled with such lust that interstate truckers could not sleep and on Valentine's Day, the local chess team failed miserably after hearing the orgasmic lovemaking by myself and LADY MORGANA next door. They were so much driven to distraction that the chess team coach banged hard on the wall and threw off my hunka man rhythm and ended our love making session abruptly.
This LOVE MAKING feast continued for some time until our wedding date neared and we went on a vacation where suddenly LADY MORGANA had no interest in SEX, just sitting by the pool. When asked about this change in mindset, LADY MORGANA said that she was ON VACATION and did not want to spend all her vacation time fucking in the room. If I was smart, I would have ended things there, but thought this aversion to fucking was an isolated incident. How I was wrong.
I have tried glowing condoms, condoms that make your dick look like a less endowed black man, dildos, vibrators, tongue vibrators, giving of jewelry and lavish gifts, lubrication, massage, role play dress up, a tongue buzzer, having expensive dinner dates etc., but LADY MORGANA now says she is interested in MONEY, not LOVE and SEX. Since I have little money, apparently this is now an impasse and deal breaker and thus interstate trucks and local chess teams are back to their winning ways as MYSELF and LADY MORGANA are no longer perpetrating sessions of MAD FUCKERY at local motels or our palatial cramped apartment even when time permits an hour or so of MAD FUCKERY. Instead LADY MORGANA prefers watching shows about serial killers, murders and sexual assaults on cable television.
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