Monday, August 3, 2026
Sunday, August 2, 2026
THE MALEVOLENCE OF EVIL LADY MORGANA
She did it again. This time she did the plastic container balancing a tissue box, but put a soft pretzel on a plate on top.
Motherfucker!
I have nothing further to say.
WHEREUPON LADY MORGANA EMPLOYS DARK SATANIC BATHROOM HOODOO TO ENTRAP AND ENSNARE THE DARK LORD VLAD
VLADVAMPIRELORD thought he could rinse off some exasperating frustration by taking a vigorous shower and cleansing his twisted soul, but it appears the most nefarious witch Queen LADY MORGANA had laid a trap.
Next to the dark throne toilet were two plungers for emergency rescue and it just so happens there was a dropped shampoo bottle betwixt and between the plungers presenting a ripe trap for VLADVAMPIRELORD to bend down and get impaled reaching for said shampoo.
But VLAD THE IMPALER would not be impaled by the shampoo trap.
Nice try MORGANA.
VLADVAMPIRELORD'S CORNER OF EXTREME BULLSHIT AND MESMERIZING FUCKED UP BLACK WITCHERY
My meds have not quite worked their way through my bloodstream so I may seem a bit extreme, but I just happened upon one of the most mind blowing feats of Satanic Witchery I have ever witnessed.
LADY MORGANA took it upon herself to balance upon some plastic containers a tissue box and then place a plate of CHICKEN FINGERS on top of the TISSUE BOX!
That has to be one of the most evil feats of black witchery I have ever been made aware of as the CHICKEN FINGERS will surely fall to the floor when you attempt to grab a chick delight and FUCK ME, I would take a picture and post it, but the LORD SATAN wants to keep it a secret weapon in his nefarious play book so I will accede to his wicked desire.
Really.
If I were properly medicated I would be at a loss for words...
LIFE IN HELL WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
The problem with my new FUCKITOL pills is they are not working. They are supposed to make me feel like FUCK IT ALL, but the problem is that I care. I really do. Always have. Always will.
No matter how many FUKITOL pills I take.
Saturday, August 1, 2026
THE SOCIAL VAMPIRE
Last night I went out dancing with High Witch Priestess LADY MORGANA and evil sprite DAMIEN EXCELSIOR to a function. It was at a church and had food and a vampire DJ. They even had an ice cream truck outside for the guests. It was good fun for all and why not enjoy an excuse to have fun and get out into the world?
I am not used to all this socializing, but if there is food and ice cream involved I will tolerate it.
Friday, July 31, 2026
VLADVAMPIRELORD'S NICE THINGS: LADY MORGANA
Lady Morgana is a big fan of this blog and loves to catch me writing an inappropriate poem or posting unapproved criticism. Since LADY MORGANA spends so much time monitoring this Blog, it is only fair I post some positive words for LADY MORGANA to read.
LADY MORGANA used to care about what I liked and what gave me joy. She did things I wanted to do because I wanted to have fun even though she was petrified . Below are some examples:
1. The LOG FLUME at GREAT ADVENTURE. Though LADY MORGANA was terrified of the LOG FLUME, she went on numerous flume rides just to impress me and not incur my ill will. Afer I got married to the Witch Queen MORGANA, all log flume rides ceased.
2. The famed WILDWOOD DRACULA'S CASTLE BOAT RIDE. It was extremely hot and humid so I decided why not go on the WILDWOOD DRACULA's CASTLE boat ride? LADY MORGANA had a look of foreboding and disgust, but still got on the boat navigated by the GRIM REAPER with me.
3. The Meadowland's Fair Haunted House. Hot, sweaty, dark and cramped. Just like I wanted it.
4. Back in the day, LADY MORGANA used to let me "bump the la la" with her on the regular if you know what I mean. Now I get attitude and the shimmy shake off. Memories...
VLADVAMPIRELORD'S VOCABULARY LESSON: WRONG BOTTLE IN THE WRONG BOX (WBIWB)
When someone puts a small medicine bottle in a big box and a big medicine bottle in a small box.
Apparently, I was getting too positive and needed to be irritated.
DEEP THOUGHTS WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
Spend less time wishing for things that you can't control and more time making changes around you that YOU CAN CONTROL and will bring you satisfaction instead of frustration.
THE SOCIAL VAMPIRE WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
I would say I am more of an antisocial vampire, but occasionally I get out in the community and last night was one occasion. There was a cookout which just happened to be held on the beautiful grounds of a breathtaking mansion that had to be worth more than 40 million dollars, but this night was not about money. It was about people getting a chance to relax and socialize and have a good time when they lead otherwise stress filled lives and it was an amazing success.
I can't say enough good things about the people that organized this or the people that attended which just goes to show you there is a side of life that is blessed and we may be damned, but get a break from damnation every now and then which we should take advantage of.
Why not relax and be happy for an hour or two? Misery can wait.
LIFE LESSONS WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
I put a lot of energy and time into making my happiness dependent on the happiness of others which I have NO CONTROL of. I need to spend more time choosing my OWN HAPPINESS which I have control of instead of getting disappointed when other people are continually disappointed.
Thursday, July 30, 2026
DEEP THOUGHTS WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
The beautiful people are a small percentage of the population yet everyone is pressured to be like them, the attractive few when in reality THEY are the FREAKS who should conform to the bland, average, unappealing, nondescript to normal masses who are the overwhelming majority.
THE TWISTED DREAMSCAPE OF VLADVAMPIRELORD
A few days ago I watched the best porn scene I ever saw which involved two Eastern European men and two Easter European women, one with long blonde hair and big breasts and the other long black hair with a killer body. Perhaps that led me to an ad about Ukrainian women I saw online which I looked at but know I cannot afford financially or otherwise.
But in the dream realm, all is possible, sort of. Last night I had a dream. I was in a house with other people and five Ukrainian women showed up in revealing party dresses just as I had to leave to do some sort of research paper for college which in Freudian terms would be the ID versus the SUPEREGO. You would have to do your own research there.
Despite not cavorting with the beautiful Ukrainian women, the was not that bad by my standards of dreaming which can get kind of dark.
Alas.
Wednesday, July 29, 2026
DAMIEN
I love my son DAMIEN more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I love him despite his imperfections and special needs. I love him even though I have to sacrifice much of my life to care for and protect him. I would go to HELL and back to fight for him and already have and would do it again if necessary. I have never stopped fighting for DAMIEN and never will.
If DAMIEN is happy, it allows me to have some happiness in my life. If DAMIEN is unhappy, I can have no joy in my existence.
Whatever I need to do that is possible to help DAMIEN will be done.
This I do solemnly swear.
DOUBLE SHOT OF VLADVAMPIRELORD'S VOCABULARY LESSON - HANGING ON THE FLOOR / VACUUM ROBOT BALLET
HANGING ON THE FLOOR - When your alleged "partner" refuses to hang the infernal sweepers on the organizer you bought, but just leaves them against propped the wall.
VACUUM ROBOT BALLET - When "someone" takes the robot vacuum and instead of putting it back on the rolling table, just props it up on a bottle of lemonade.
MORE STRANGE EVENTS THIS MORNING
One of the light bulbs that hasn't been flickering started flickering.
And my computer mouse died. Never had a computer mouse die that I can remember.
Hmmm.
POLTERGEIST OR LADY MORGANA?
Since LADY MORGANA apparently feels she is not getting enough time in my BLOG, I decided to create this game. You decide. POLTERGEIST OR LADY MORGANA?
Incident #1
Bedroom lamp moved to different location
Incident #2
Box of bandages scattered all over the floor
Incident #3
Bedroom drawer left opened all the way
Strange events this morning. Could be paranormal or not giving a fuck about the mess or both. As is common, I will leave it to the reader to decide.
Tuesday, July 28, 2026
LIFE WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
I just realized yesterday that I live in affluent community. I started taking notice of all the TESLAS, MERCEDES and ITALIAN SPORTS CARS lately and then I looked at an e-mail sent by a realter and about 90% of the houses around here go for 1 million dollars or more.
However, I live in apartment the size of a shoebox that most people here would use to store their shoes or suits. The community has a pool, but the cost for membership exceeds what I can afford. There is a community center that also has membership priced out of reach. It is a subsidy for the rich and the costs are meant to keep the likes of me outside their doors and far away.
I am the enemy at the gates.
Beyond Reality And Madness
By this time
You are a ghost of a ghost
Of a twisted person I thought
I used to know
But never really did
Behind the mask
In a dream
Is a demon lover
But
That entity is gone
If it ever existed
Walking down the dark haunted corridors
Of someone else's life
And the truth is
That I made you
I released you to rise again
And terrorize another's being
Just
What I wanted you to be
For me
And now I can't erase that creation
Lost to time
Or make it go away
From my twisted mind
So I can celebrate that spiritual
Satanic sponge painting
In my brain
Levitate it in a poem
Or watch it again
In shock like a classic horror movie
Remembered
If I cannot experience the delusion
Held close to my heart
That is the irony and the mockery of life
In the now
We lose people and find we never really knew them
And what you believed was the past
That has passed
Is still a shadow on your wall
I love the me that brought
What I thought was you to life
Into my life
And I remember the agony and the ecstasy
All the betrayals and pain
The deep heartbreak
Of letting you go
Though a vision of you remains
A paranormal portrait of love sublime
And permanent loss
Somewhere beyond reality
And madness
I found you again
And
I can still
Be with you there
Forever
Within me.
DEEP THOUGHTS WITH VLADVAMPIRELORD
Live each day like it is the last day of your life, because it just might be.
Monday, July 27, 2026
Something This Good Can't Be All Bad
Your kisses were toxic divine
Cherry wine horror show lingering on my tongue
A thousand lies on a hell scape of raw sex and debauchery
Making love on an hourglass shaped candle's time
Darkness whispering in my ear
Deeper
Faster
Pumping
Slower
Before the orgasmic explosion
Savoring the decadence of forbidden trysts
I have a soft spot for the evil in your sigh of delight
Your deception and betrayal never tasted so good
Mixed with the flesh and desire
All bad things are bound to end
Just as love cries eternity
Then
Fades
Holding you close in the night
Your despicable abyss
Sensuality without shame
I blame it all on myself and the compulsion to make you mine
Tasting your rancid soul and licking the flames
Bring me back to your wicked wonderland
And set me free by morning
I survive beyond the sweet depravity
Thinking about nights of Sin
Lost to yesterday
Remembering how I rationalized it all
Thinking thoughts so naïve
That made sense at the time
I was a fool for saying
This to you
But it seemed true
Looking into your mascara stained eyes
Wandering beyond the scowl on your lips
Your smooth hips in my hands
Something this good
Can't be all bad.
Sunday, July 26, 2026
VLADVAMPIRELORD'S MEMORIES OF THE 1970S: THE LASER LIGHT SHOW
I was around eight years old and something about the concept of a music show with laser lights beamed on the ceiling fascinated me. Somehow, I convinced my mother to take us to the laser light / music show at the carnival and after buying our tickets I was shocked to see how many teenagers were sprawled on the floor smoking pot, making out , touching, kissing, and heavy petting in the pitch darkness. The teenagers were also not happy to see us there as we had blown their orgy cover. "What are you bringing kids here for?" Someone shouted. Others had more nasty words to say, but all I knew at the time was the real action was on the floor and not beamed onto the ceiling with blaring music. I think my mother was shocked and mortified at what was transpiring and unhappy to say the least that I had led us into this den of iniquity. I believe I got yelled at , but who's to say? I just wished I was older and could grab some ass and titties too. That ended my laser light experience as the 1980s was close at hand and such things would become passe as consumer porn made its entrance in society.
Alas.
THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG
They're playing our song
Somewhere
For someone else
And I can no longer deny
That our love has died
It lies interred six feet under in my mind
Waiting for a dream
To walk the night
Hearts bleed eternal in the darkness
Of the past
Love is forever they say
But in an etheral mist
Everything fades
Even the stars
I missed you last evening
But you were already gone
Except in the memories I can't touch
And a song that brings the tears
Soft and slow
Trickling
To the edge of nowhere.
Saturday, July 25, 2026
DEATHBED VISIONS
Nearly 500 readers shared stories of deathbed visions. Here are 10.
The end-of-life experiences that brought comfort to the dying and solace to their caregivers.
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