AN OPEN MISSIVE TO THE WORLD APOLOGIZING FOR MY SHAMEFUL DELUSIONAL MANIC DEPRESSIVE EPISODE

I am truly sorry for the mind bending events preceding and up to New Year's Eve, but I can not be held culpable as I had no idea it was New Year's Eve to begin with and was in the process of imprisoning and holding my wife IN QUARANTINE under home lockdown due to her defiance of my prohibition to go to FRANK'S PIZZA and get a COVID MIAMI HOT TUB VARIANT PLAIN SLICE OMICRON ZETA JONES 2.0 1/2 price off pizza meal deal and spread the fucking virus to our family hiding out in our shitty steam death apartment as well as then fucking killing STAN our regular pizza delivery guy type who we tipped $5 and a taste of the BLACK PLAGUE and all truth be told our crappy little apartment is smaller than Melania Trump's shoe closet. So cut me some fucking slack. Alas.