ONE TIME I ALMOST DIED...

When I was 18 I was hanging out with some friends and I noticed a dull, aching pain in my lower right side and it never went away. When I was home I checked in some old Encyclopedias we had under appendicitis and sure enough I had just about ALL the symptoms and it was decided I would make a visit to the hospital the next day. After a checkup and blood test the Doctors determined I did have appendicitis and I would have to wait for a hospital bed as they were full. I waited all day until I finally got a bed next to a rich kid whose mother stood by his side doting on him while I was told they did NOT have an open operating room and I would have to WAIT for the operation. Things were going along swimmingly until my appendix burst and I let out a string of curse words and when I was done and had shocked the upper class people in my room I determined to run into an operating room and cut the dang thing out myself, but the pain was so intense I could not move. The Doctors suddenly found an operating room, but when I awoke from the procedure I had a three inch scar on my side and some ziti pasta sticking out. Then the nurse is trying to get me out of bed and walking around post haste like nothing fucking happened. I think they treat cattle to the slaughter better than someone in the fucking hospital, but I lived to tell the tale and a friend dropped by and left a hard core porn magazine so it wasn't all bad.