I may be 312 years old, but that does NOT mean I am TOO OLD for SEX. My dick has recently recovered from COVID and I have the desire and libido, but LADY MORGANA does not want my vampire LOVE. She screams if I so much as touch her and I am lucky just to get a sleepy brush off every now and then if I poke her with my haunted cattle prod. She thinks I am her personal assistant and not godlike vamp lover which is a fucking shame because I am so sexy and Adonis handsome.
That leaves me with few options, whores, sex dolls, and porn. The problem with whores is there is no emotional connection beyond the sex and they just want the money and try to trick you out of your time and steal money and possessions if they can. Whores have a higher likelihood of disease even if you wear a condom. You could get COVID III or some other god awful disease as well as you have to deal with their bullshit and may get arrested if you are straight up paying and the cops find out. There is also a possibility of getting involved in a crime. Pimps, drive by's, jealous serial killers and that is an Extremely high danger ratio for 5 minutes of pleasure.
I did look into sex dolls which range from $2,000 to $10,000 depending on how realistic and robot equipped you want to pay for. I did find a $2,000 model I was attracted to, but I feel the expense is a huge waste though cavorting with whores would cost much more . Having a sex doll in the middle of the bed would create a nice wall between me and LADY MORGANA, but be a problem finding storage for a 100 lb sex doll and a potential discovery issue if we ever have guests over the castle. Also, should I die, I would leave the sex doll behind and there is the issue of throwing it out or somebody else fucking MY sex doll which I would take issue with even if I was a corpse.
Then there is porn. Some years back I decided I needed to buy enough porn for the rest of my life and now I am stuck with two closets of 30+ year old porn VHS and DVD I bought before porn became available for FREE on computer and cell phone. I still like porn, but it just doesn't do for me what it used to do when you have already done the kinky stuff. Nevertheless, it is comforting that should there be a global apocalypse I will probably still be able to access porn, which most cannot say.
Never say you have NO money.
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