Another one of my tropical fish died today and it still leaves me with a bad feeling of grief. I don't know why the fish died or how, but it was stuck to the filter and I suspect the pretty death aggressive fish was responsible though I have no proof. I feel like whacking that death fish with the net, but like I said I have no proof and even if I did, it would be cruelty on my part to hit a fish that is clueless to begin with. So I flushed the fish down the toilet thinking of how beautiful it was in life and how in the end we all come to this.
I used to have a solemn ceremony by the toilet bowl when a fish died, but as the years have gone by, I have grown more callous to the whole process of death. The first person close to me that died was my Grandmother when I was a child. I was devastated, but my relatives were speaking like she never lived and eating deli sandwiches and I could not take it. I walked out of my cousin's house and went toward a lake they had in the back and just cried until I was composed enough to go back. And over the years people close to me have died and it is like part of me died too because I have become very apathetic about death. I see the tragedy in death, but I can no longer express my sorrow in tears.
If you can't handle DEATH, you should not keep fish as a hobby because you will see death all around you in the watery grave you bought from the pet store. And if you cannot handle DEATH in life as a human, you will find out sooner or later about DEATH as everybody must die. You need to discover what makes you happy and experience that joy as soon as possible for as long as possible because death is stalking us all, fish and human alike.
I think I will have some ice cream just in case things end sooner than I expect.
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