The most wise giver of advice will never be heeded because people do not want to concede that there is someone with more wisdom and common sense than themselves. Therefore, I will not offer advice, but relate this cautionary tale.
When I was a young man, I entered into a pact with my best friend that we would NOT get married since both our families were products of bitter divorce and extreme relationship dumbfuckery. Not less than a week later, my best friend tells me he is getting engaged. At that particular age, your friends and acquaintances start getting married and you find the number dwindling of people you can hang with and have a good time. It does not take a genius to realize that soon you will be ALONE and without a partner if you do not conform to societal norms. That is one hell of an abyss to stare down and few have the intestinal fortitude to brave a life of solitude. Thus, I too was soon married as well.
I recently marked 27 years married to LADY MORGANA and 7 years dating on top of that. So I am responsible for my current misery and I accept the consequence of my poor choices acquiescing to societal norms. I met LADY MORGANA at a dance club. What attracted her to me was her big smile and big boobs. I thought she was smiling at me, but it was at her friend standing next to me. That prompted me to ask LADY MORGANA to dance which we did until they played "Last Dance" by DONNA SUMMER and LADY MORGANA gave me her phone number.
When I started dating LADY MORGANA she was quiet and soft spoken. After 27 years of marriage she is loud and tries to get the last word in any conversation. When I met LADY MORGANA she was afraid of getting a shot at the Doctor. Now she jams shots into her stomach to achieve rapid weight loss. LADY MORGANA was affectionate and at times very sexual, now she prefers shows about serial killers and murders to sexual escapades. LADY MORGANA used to go out of her way to please me and conform to my interests. Now LADY MORGANA is selfish and mocks my hobbies and interests. I used to think LADY MORGANA was an all in mother like my own, but she is more interested in cutting corners and farming out responsibilities to other people. I used to think LADY MORGANA was a kind person that truly cared about others, but I found that she longs for material things and is downright EVIL.
When our son DAMIEN EXCELSIOR was born, LADY MORGANA got into a funk and I had two crying babies on my hands. I felt I had to leave, but I could not leave my new born child and seek divorce. My first thought was just to go cold and not have any emotions to deal with the situation, but I am an emotional person and that tactic failed. Then I thought I would just see escorts for sex to fill the void. I did actually see an escort and it was a complete disaster so that approach failed as well. My third thought was an idea I got from the internet which was to try an alternative lifestyle like BDSM and that worked for a short time, but was not the answer either.
So one day, LADY MORGANA comes to me asking for divorce and I am not so angry that she wanted a split, but that she never stated she was unhappy or the elaborate plans she had made for me which pretty much kept all my responsibilities, but left her off the hook. Unfortunately, my response was to state I would not comply with her demands and she could go it alone which is what my biological father did to our family, refusing to pay child support while causing chaos and terror for decades. That changed LADY MORGANA's mind which had us see multiple marriage counselors who all advised divorce. I also confessed to visiting an escort and chatting with witches, hookers and all types of freaky women on the internet.
Currently, LADY MORGANA and I are like room mates, which I believe is an idea she got from a friend of hers that decided not to divorce. Things can go from ok to unbearable and LADY MORGANA employs passive aggression and witchy mind fucks to assert her will. Just today I found she dropped her clothes on the floor when the hamper is like 2.5 feet away. That is not just an I don't care thing, it is that with a fuck you attached and that aggravates me quite a bit which is of course intended.
At this point, I have LOST ALL HOPE, which makes me a dangerous man, but also provides for quite a bit of upside potential for the future for if you lose hope, you have NOTHING to lose.
If I had not married LADY MORGANA, I might have married an alcoholic red head nympho, a hyper college graduate dentist candidate, somebody else or I might have been alone right now envying the married people. Regardless, my marriage to LADY MORGANA allowed me to realize my life long dream of a best friend that gets me and understands my sense of humor.
That friend is my son DAMIEN ECSELSIOR and despite his special needs and challenges, I don't think I would give him up for the world.
Alas.
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